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Daydreams & Us
Sometimes I open my laptop and start typing. Words just come in like how in a factory, products are being packed one by one! Yet, some other times, I struggle to put my thoughts into words like I’ve forgotten the recipe! Oh please! It is hard to find ideas to write on or create something out, it’s a brain not really a factory!!! But IT’S A BRAIN, NOT A FACTORY! EUREKA!
Millions of years ago, when homo sapiens had some other companions on earth and a fight for survival of the fittest was marching on, homo sapiens (our ancestors) survived even after being a bit weaker than the rest! How? Or should I say WHY!? Yuval Noah Harari wrote in his best-selling book Sapiens, “The ability to speak about fictions/ things that do not exist is the most unique feature of Sapiens language”. He calls it The Cognitive Revolution. We don’t know what caused it, yet it was the way we were different from rest of the species. We created stories, imaginable spirit guides and entertained ourselves. The ability to imagine got us through.
To imagine is not always fun because as we’ve grown, we have learnt to imagine the worst case scenarios as well – resulting in mental health issues!!! But, to Day-dream is different than imagining. We imagine only when needed but we day-dream when nothing at all is needed. It’s a fact that day-dreaming is a healthy brain exercise. We daydream when our brain is free of all the other things that keeps us occupied. For example, a meeting or a project. May be a date or relationships. Things that worry us or makes us think and use our brain more and more comes from different parts of the brain. Analytical & Empathetic brain-both are different. Day-Dreaming involves the use of all the areas of the brain combined except these two. During daydreaming, analytical and empathetic parts of the brain turn each other off! Mainly, when we day-dream all the parts of our brain are active, except these two, which is why we feel extremely relaxed.
It is also a fact that day dreaming makes us more creative. May be that’s why I am writing this, because I day dream like 50% of the time!!! It gives us new ways to express ourselves. So, yay.. Also, We tend to day dream less as we get older, so embrace this gift while you can!!! But another fact is- We day dream on purpose..Obviously, because we want to feel relaxed and we know we’re free to take a break… That might be the reason why we tend to work more enthusiastically after day dreaming… It’s like recharging our creative sides. As our brain controls our day dreams not our minds, I called it an effective brain exercise.
“The cost of oblivious daydreaming was always this moment of return, the realignment with what had been before and now seemed a little worse. ”
― Ian McEwan, Atonement.It’s not always flowers and sunshine though! Is it?! Sometimes reality is so awful that we tend to escape in the imaginary world! Some researchers have proposed Maladaptive Daydreaming (or daydreaming that causes real problems in people’s lives) as a mental health disorder. They reported more obsessive-compulsive, attention deficit, and dissociative symptoms. Basically, the people who tend to daydream A LOT should stop doing it because it might be affecting their REAL lives as well. It causes distress and dissatisfaction! So beware of what your brain is exercising with.
To sum up- Daydreaming has been my favourite pass time for years. But now that I think about the time I wasted on that, could have been used for something productive may be. But- I grew more creative over time too! So it has it’s pros and cons. I tend to focus on the pros and keep it under a limit.
What do you think? Are you in control of your daydreaming or do you have any incident to share!? Comment below.
Also, Thanks for reading. Namaste.
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Why It Is Important For Us To Talk Heart To Heart
Remember? The nights of utter silence. The days of extreme presence and the evenings with true stories…. I remember each and every moment, where I lived my 100%, in the moment. I remember them because I WANT TO. Now I don’t get the moments where I don’t THINK! If you’re the same, you know what I am trying to say.
I still remember playing basketball with my best friends. I miss it everyday. I still remember the long walks on rainy days and the loud laughters in between the say! I still find treasure in my memories when I told my best friend that, “Hey! You’re my Best Friend”… And can never forget how she said the same. It was in 11th standard during a free class. It was my first heart to heart with her. I realised how important it has been for me…
I have told the people that I LOVE them so many times, that I am pretty sure they might start doubting that I do! But how it feels after you say it, is like therapy. I understand, sometimes it’s troublesome. Your true emotions are hard to express. That is why you keep them locked inside the chamber of secrets. Yet, there is always a Harry, who’ll open it once he knows the language…! (Potter-heads having an orgasm right now?! You’re welcome.) I had trouble too. I started writing. Blogging. Talking…. Well, I love talking if I want to! Especially when it is heart to heart. Still. I do talk. So, Ask yourselves this, “When was the last time I had an heart to heart conversation with ANYONE for that matter?”! Your answer may lie in that frown you just made! Or may be in the smile of satisfaction! Any which way it is, an heart to heart is important.
Here’s why:
It Keeps You Happier
I don’t need to elaborate on this. You know you feel happier or better whenever you share feelings with someone. it’s a basic human need. That’s why we love! We have companions, friends and family. They make us happy. When you go heart to heart with them, you know they won’t judge you and will accept you as you are. That makes you feel happier. So, go now, talk to someone and tell them whatever it is you want to say. It’s better than wasting it inside yourself!!
It Gives You “Your Tribe”
This one’s also a no brainer. You choose friends, they choose you. The choice isn’t based on any demographics, it is based on the connection. With the heart to heart talks, you find your tribe too. You know the true ones who’ll be there for you no matter what. You can cry in front of them and tell them that you’re hurt and they’ll love you more. You can get drunk with them and they’ll hold you. They accept you and you accept them.
It Keeps You Grounded
Yes, it does. When you talk heart to heart with people, there’s no place for pretending or lies. There’s no room to hold grudges. Whatever is inside your head, you’ve shared it out, which is why you become more understanding of people and their behaviour. You care more and that keeps you honest and grounded.
You Find Yourself
This is the most important outcome of going heart to heart with people. When you share your heart and listen to other’s, you become aware of emotions you weren’t before. You start understanding yourself. You realise the repercussions of all your actions, even before you take them. You analyse things better , your approach to things become more practical. Your EQ (Emotional Quotient) is higher which makes you mature and responsible towards people and yourself. The self-awareness you get makes you serious about the things that YOU want. You find yourself in the process. The greatest gift of an heart to heart is to find ourselves!
The greatest gift of an heart to heart is to find ourselves!
These were some reasons to go heart to heart today. I know there are more. If you find any of yours, please share them in the comments below. If you think people should talk more heart to heart, share this with them.
Thanks for reading. Namaste.
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How To Write Your Heart-Out Without Getting Exposed!
Writing a Journal On A Blog and Not Even Showing it!
As a writer, you understand that all you want to tell the readers is what you’re feeling or what YOU have learned from your experiences but it gets hard to express ourselves sometimes. The conundrum of ‘What Ifs’ is what we breathe as humans. ‘What if I sound too personal or vulnerable”?, ‘What if after reading this, people get to know what I’ve gone through?’, and this continues until you decide not to write about it at all! After all, the main purpose of writing is to let it out! Given the chance, we have to take the risk.
Let’s dig in to how to write your heart out without getting exposed or sounding vulnerable.
Journal Everyday
Photo by Plush Design Studio on Unsplash You might be following this one or thinking about opting this habit. Well, let me tell you this: It sounds an easy practice to do on a daily basis but SURPRISE!!!!! It’s not.
The better thing to mention here is, if you do journal daily or alternatively, you will get addicted to this routine. So, Journal as consistently as you can.
How To Form A Journaling Routine:
- Keep a journal at your desk. Whenever you’re working it’ll catch your eye and will tempt you to write in it.
- Get yourself a pretty/classic notebook to journal in. Like the ones in the above image or any kind you prefer, as per your taste.
- Self Talk : This will help you to channelise your thoughts into a single direction and you will get motivated to write it all out to get stress free.
- PLAN: Plan your day, week, month or year. Write down your goals and ambitions you’d like to achieve within a decided time. This is a type of productive journal you write.
Journal for yourself consistently and then write on the blog.
How Journaling Helps to Write on a Blog with Personal Experiences:
Journaling WILL help in writing your heart-out on the blog and that too without getting exposed with your deepest emotions which can make you vulnerable in a reader’s mind! No, I am not scaring you, but it does help.
When you journal for yourself, your heart is already exposed on the paper, which is only accessible to you. Now, what you write on the blog after that will only be using those ‘journaled’ thoughts to curate a story or an article. Those words will now unconsciously be non-personal and non-manual. Hence, you will able to share your deepest emotions to help the reader’s to learn & relate to it rather than judge you. So, journal for yourself first consistently and then write on the blog.
Read What You Wish To Write
Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash To be a better writer, we need to read like we’re getting paid for it. Of course, reading is one of the best exercises for a writer. To write personal blogs or experiences, reading what other’s have been writing in the genre is a way to learn how we can do it too. Memoirs, struggles, sarcastic discussions about mental health issues, all of this helps in understanding what type of literary language we should use in sharing our own journaled emotions publicly.
Going public with your heart is a brave thing to do and reading helps to make it easier.
Following are some stuff to read ; To understand the concept of journalling publicly:
- On Writing by Stephen King (Book)
- https://seths.blog/ by Seth Godin (Blog)
I don’t have to mention the FACT that how revolutionary and legendary both these writers are! So of course, learning from them is a blessing we have these days with technology. Their work is easily accessible and that is a treat for people wanting to write and learn about it.
Summary: To write on a platform where anyone can read your content, Journaling and Reading are the go to’s. Journaling about your emotions and reading what others have written about their emotions.
Readers should also, always, learn something or at least get something positive out of it.
Keeping in mind the Dos and Don’ts:
Dos:
- Edit the piece after writing.
- Be okay with exposing that side of you.
- Write like you’re writing a letter to someone you want to tell what you’re going through.
- Use the words of gratitude, such as, thank you, grateful, humbly, lucky etc. This helps the reader to connect to it on a deeper level and they’ll relate more to it.
- Write an end-note.
Don’ts:
- Stress over what people will think after reading it.
- Worry over sounding too personal.
- Thinking too much of writing too much. Write as much as you want to. Edit out the things that seems useless.
- Be Negative. A reader should always relate to your write-up, yes. But they should also, always, learn something or at least get something positive out of it. So, don’t end on a negative note.
“Make it less about ME and more about the reader.”
End-Note: I have written many things on the blog that are personal but have learnt over time to make it less about me and more about the reader. That is why I wrote this because journaling on a blog and still NOT making it about US is a big deal and I wanted to share it. So, Thank you for reading. You can read more on tarunified.com
This is such an insightful perspective. It’s true—no matter how much we engage with others, our minds are constantly processing,…
Congratulations!! 🌻🌟☀️
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Thank you so much. Glad you could connect to it♥️
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Indeed! Thank you.